Getting Close!

Things are still moving along great - have another appointment tomorrow morning and then the retrieval will be on Thursday. Everything has moved along so fast, I can not believe we are almost done! I hope to talk with Dr R tomorrow about his plans for how many blastocysts we are putting back. It is so hard for me to think about because I want to do what is best on the body but I also don't want to be conservative and then have a failed cycle.

For those that don't know in our 2005 cycle, we put back 2 A quality blastocysts. We knew one attached and we were thrilled. When I was 13 weeks along I started feeling cramping and pressure. It was a busy day for me and I did not think too much about it. My mind was on my Gramps who was to have surgery. That night I starting feeling worse and suddenly had a ton of pressure. I went into the restroom and passed tissue and blood - I knew something was not right. I called the Dr who assured me things were fine and I saw the Dr the next morning. Terrified that I had lost the baby, I went in for a sonogram. Much to my surprise the baby was fine, but it was obvious that their was a twin that I lost. I cant explain the feelings that I felt - I was relieved that the baby I knew about was still alive, but so sad for the loss.

Now it is time to make this decision again and I have no clue what to do. I do not want to ever feel that heartache again. At the same time though I can not imagine how hard it will be if this cycle is not a success and then I question if I should have put more back. Craig has already said, we will do whatever Dr R feels is best. I know that is the right thing to do - but it would not be me if I did not analyze the options and possible outcomes!