It wasn't our time

Well the news is in, we are still not pregnant. It is hard to believe or understand but it is the reality. For some reason even with a perfect cycle and wonder embryos we were not lucky enough to get pregnant. I will have a follow with my Dr on May 2nd just to see if he has any thoughts. In the meantime Craig and I are going to spend some time thinking about the next course of action. I know I said that this was the last cycle but I am not too sure that I can surrender just yet. We are thinking about doing another cycle or possibly looking into adoption. I would love to adopt - always have wanted to do that - but the cost is outrageous and I am not sure how we could swing that. It sure is a nice thought to complete our family with a child that needs a safe and loving home. Lots to think about and look into but for now I need to take some time to heal and allow myself to be sad.

These cycles are awful physically, mentally and most of all emotionally. To think less than two weeks ago I was trying to wrap my brain around the thought of triplets and now I am realizing that the family might in deed already be complete. What a roller coater of events.

I do have a few bright sides to this - you have to search for the good in the bad!

1. No more shots, blood draws and sonograms.
2. I can have anything to eat or drink that I want - I think I will be making a stop at Starbucks real soon!
3. I wont have to endure the Texas heat as a pregnant woman.
4. No more back pain - for the last three days I have been in extreme pain and barely able to walk. It is from the progesterone causing the ligaments to loosen and shift - very painful.

Of course, I would much rather struggle through all of the above to have another child but I will think of these as positive for the time being.

Collin and I are going to enjoy our evening tonight and will look forward to daddy coming home tomorrow. Our little family will be just fine.

I am sure that I will post soon with more thoughts but for now - time to get my mind off of this and actually work!

Love to all!
Katie