It wasn't meant to be

I am sad to tell everyone that does not already know - it was confirmed Friday that I am having a miscarriage. The number dropped drastically so now we have to wait it out. If my numbers are not back to a 0 by the end of the week, the Dr will need to perform a D&C. Please pray that my body will handle this naturally - I do not want to have to do yet another procedure.

I have always said that I would rather never be pregnant than to deal with the loss of a pregnancy and here I am figuring out how to deal with it. I am not going to lie - these last few days have been awful. I have done pretty much nothing except lay around and wonder why. I just want an answer so that I know what went wrong. I know I will never get that answer though.

We will be meeting with our fertility Dr sometime after Thanksgiving to talk about where we go from here. He is going to talk with the embryologists to see if they have any input and we will make our plan of action for the next cycle which will start in January. I am going to ask him about some genetic testing. I know that the general rule is three losses before a Dr will start testing but I would like to see if we can go ahead and do it now. With Collin's pregnancy - it was decided that we lost a twin but never confirmed - though I know in my heart that is the case. So we are already at 2 losses. Plus I really think this next cycle will have to be our last. Insurance will not cover much more than two and honestly it is a lot to go through so I am not sure I can handle much more than that.

I will keep the blog update with where we are at throughout the coming weeks. These next few weeks I am sure will be hard but I know that we will be okay. Craig and I are sad but know how fortunate we are to have a wonderful little boy. If we are blessed with another kid that is just frosting on the cake.

Thank you to everyone that has cheered us on during these last few months. We appreciate all of the support and prayers from everyone. We are excited to try again in a few short months.

Much Love
Katie