Just a quick update on where we are at. Things are about to get real busy!
Fist let me say, that I am doing well. I have had a few hormonal days already (Craig may argue more than a "few") but I think I am managing okay. I am trying to not stress and to relax as much as possible.
I am a little over a week into the Lupron shots which are used to suppress my system and basically let the Dr take over. Had my first appointment this morning and things look good. They said that my sonogram looks far better than last time and even better than the cycle with Collin so that is a relief. I will start the next two shots on Saturday - Gonal F and Menepur - these are the stim shots that will kick my ovaries into over drive. Next appointment is on Tuesday and then every other day after that until retrieval day.
Spring is here and that means it is time to play ball! Collin is loving baseball and his first game is on Saturday. This season Craig is coaching and Collin's Cousin Jacob is on the team and Uncle Jim is the assistant Coach! I am sure it will be a blast for the boys!
Collin knows that I take shots to try to have a baby. So a few weeks ago, I told him that his cousin hopes that I will have a girl because their are no girl cousins for her to play with. Collin said, "But Mommy. I only want you to take the boy shots, I don't want a sister!" Haha - the poor kid thinks everyone takes shots to get pregnant. This morning though, he said to ask the Dr for a boy and a girl because he wants one of each. Cute!
Have a great weekend and I will update after the next appointment!
Hugs!
Katie
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
We have the green light!
I received the best news on Thursday - it is time to start up the shots! My Dr is released for surgery starting 4/1. My nurse called on Thursday and said "Katie, this is Angela. Get the meds ordered and prepare for shots!" I am pretty sure those words brought tears to my eyes! I am so ready to get going and in two weeks I will be on my way. First shot is 3/14 with a pregnancy test on 4/21. That is such a short amount of time to take a proposed 54 shots, 2 minor surgeries and at least 10 blood draws/sonograms. Wow that makes me exhausted just looking at it!
Over these last several months I have tried to trick myself into thinking that I was fine with not doing another round of treatments. I thought of the money saved, the sleepless nights that we would not have to endure, no need to save for college for two (or more) and being able to still live comfortably in our house. For a while I really thought I had convinced myself but when Angela called, I knew that I was not ready to give up just yet. I still have that need for a sibling to Collin. I still have the gut wrenching pain when I think of life as a family of three.
Craig's sister delivered her second child last week. She is such an inspiration to me as her battle with infertiliy far surpassed anything that I have gone through. For years, she tried to start her family and endured many miscarriages along the way. She tried just about everything she could to maintain a healthy pregnancy and for one reason or another it sadly did not work. But in the last 2 1/2 years her family has grown with two beautiful healthy boys. I know that her heartache for those that she lost along the way will always be their, but I am sure that looking at it now she would say it was all worth it and she is happier than ever. Well maybe a little exhaused with a newborn and toddler- but happy known the less.
Over these last several months I have tried to trick myself into thinking that I was fine with not doing another round of treatments. I thought of the money saved, the sleepless nights that we would not have to endure, no need to save for college for two (or more) and being able to still live comfortably in our house. For a while I really thought I had convinced myself but when Angela called, I knew that I was not ready to give up just yet. I still have that need for a sibling to Collin. I still have the gut wrenching pain when I think of life as a family of three.
Craig's sister delivered her second child last week. She is such an inspiration to me as her battle with infertiliy far surpassed anything that I have gone through. For years, she tried to start her family and endured many miscarriages along the way. She tried just about everything she could to maintain a healthy pregnancy and for one reason or another it sadly did not work. But in the last 2 1/2 years her family has grown with two beautiful healthy boys. I know that her heartache for those that she lost along the way will always be their, but I am sure that looking at it now she would say it was all worth it and she is happier than ever. Well maybe a little exhaused with a newborn and toddler- but happy known the less.
So please join me for this next and hopefully final journey through IVF. Be prepared for a wild ride with a fantastic ending!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
A New Year - A New Chance!
I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday! We were very blessed with an amazing Christmas and a great start to the New Year so far!
Im sorry for not posting much but I really tried not to think too much about this journey during the holidays. I really wanted to enjoy my time with Craig and Collin and not be sad over what I do not have. With that said - let me fill you in on the last month. We met with my Dr before Christmas and talked about how our cycle went and where we go from here. He was concerned with the fact that I am a low responder to the meds as I was with Collin's cycle 5 years ago. This last cycle I was on the highest dosage of medicine that he can ethically give to me. With that amount he expected me to produce far more eggs than I did. So we ran some tests to basically see if I am going through early menapause. I am happy to say that I am not! Basically my body is just stubborn (go figure)! Dr A Rod feels confident that being on the same protocol next time still gives us a high chance of success. So we will follow his orders and see what happens. Right now we are shooting for another cycle in 4-6 weeks. I am ready to go as soon as Dr A Rod is fully healed from shoulder surgery and can perform my surgery.
This cycle will more than likely be our last cycle so I am determined to make it the best! I will admit that for the last cycle I did not eliminate stress like I should have. I am determined this time around I will not stay up all night mopping floors and doing dishes. I am not going to stay at work late and come home to work late into the night. If my house is a little messy all will be okay. If anyone pops in and notices a crumb on the table or a fur ball in the corner - just ignore it because that is what I am doing! I am also back to working out to try to get my body in a healthier place prior to any pregnancy. With Collin I was at the gym five days a week up until delivery. Now I am working out with Collin - it keeps it interesting to say the least!
I am excited for 2011. We are ready for a new season of Tball to start up and are excited to start kindergarden this fall (wow is it already that time?). I started a new job with Metlife in December and am thrilled to work on a new project and see where this takes me. Also - to all my family in California - we are planning a road trip to come see you guys! We are thinking sometime in late summer but will let you know once we are able to narrow it down! We will come to the end of our journey and whatever that leads us to will be perfect. Our family is wonderful now so it can only get better from here!
I will update again once we get the go ahead to start the cycle with Dr Rodriguez. I am praying that it is soon but want to make sure that he is in perfect health to take on this cycle. I put 100% faith that if our family is to expand - he is the man to get us there!
Hugs to all!
Im sorry for not posting much but I really tried not to think too much about this journey during the holidays. I really wanted to enjoy my time with Craig and Collin and not be sad over what I do not have. With that said - let me fill you in on the last month. We met with my Dr before Christmas and talked about how our cycle went and where we go from here. He was concerned with the fact that I am a low responder to the meds as I was with Collin's cycle 5 years ago. This last cycle I was on the highest dosage of medicine that he can ethically give to me. With that amount he expected me to produce far more eggs than I did. So we ran some tests to basically see if I am going through early menapause. I am happy to say that I am not! Basically my body is just stubborn (go figure)! Dr A Rod feels confident that being on the same protocol next time still gives us a high chance of success. So we will follow his orders and see what happens. Right now we are shooting for another cycle in 4-6 weeks. I am ready to go as soon as Dr A Rod is fully healed from shoulder surgery and can perform my surgery.
This cycle will more than likely be our last cycle so I am determined to make it the best! I will admit that for the last cycle I did not eliminate stress like I should have. I am determined this time around I will not stay up all night mopping floors and doing dishes. I am not going to stay at work late and come home to work late into the night. If my house is a little messy all will be okay. If anyone pops in and notices a crumb on the table or a fur ball in the corner - just ignore it because that is what I am doing! I am also back to working out to try to get my body in a healthier place prior to any pregnancy. With Collin I was at the gym five days a week up until delivery. Now I am working out with Collin - it keeps it interesting to say the least!
I am excited for 2011. We are ready for a new season of Tball to start up and are excited to start kindergarden this fall (wow is it already that time?). I started a new job with Metlife in December and am thrilled to work on a new project and see where this takes me. Also - to all my family in California - we are planning a road trip to come see you guys! We are thinking sometime in late summer but will let you know once we are able to narrow it down! We will come to the end of our journey and whatever that leads us to will be perfect. Our family is wonderful now so it can only get better from here!
I will update again once we get the go ahead to start the cycle with Dr Rodriguez. I am praying that it is soon but want to make sure that he is in perfect health to take on this cycle. I put 100% faith that if our family is to expand - he is the man to get us there!
Hugs to all!
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Angel of Mine
My Angel,
It was one month ago today that I learned of you. A quick glance of a double line and I was in love. In your short week with me, I planned for a future. It is silly but I had names picked out - boy or girl - I knew what you would be called. Your room was planned out in my mind. I day dreamt about a family trip to Disney World with Collin thrilled to show you everything that their was to do and see.
Although I will never fully understand why you came to me and were quickly taken, I know that because of you I will forever be changed. I am stronger than ever before. You have taught me to embrace the moment and except those things that can not be changed. You will forever be apart of our family and we will cherish the happiness we felt if only for a few days.
It was one month ago today that I learned of you. A quick glance of a double line and I was in love. In your short week with me, I planned for a future. It is silly but I had names picked out - boy or girl - I knew what you would be called. Your room was planned out in my mind. I day dreamt about a family trip to Disney World with Collin thrilled to show you everything that their was to do and see.
Although I will never fully understand why you came to me and were quickly taken, I know that because of you I will forever be changed. I am stronger than ever before. You have taught me to embrace the moment and except those things that can not be changed. You will forever be apart of our family and we will cherish the happiness we felt if only for a few days.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Moving on
This past week was pretty hard. I was very worried that I was going to need a D&C but I am thrilled to report - I don't! My blood work on Thursday cam back at a negative number so we are in the clear now. We have scheduled our consult with the Dr for Tuesday 11/30 and should start cycling late December or first of January.
I think that I can say I am ready to move on. I have accepted this outcome and realize that their is nothing I could have done differently to get a different result. Dwelling on it any further is not fair to me or my family. This weekend I watched a marathon of Guiliana and Bill. It is a reality show about going through IVF. They also got pregnant but then lost the pregnancy a few weeks later. I cried for over two hours and realized that my thoughts and emotions were normal and okay. I really think it helped me accept our situation and stop dwelling on it.
This weekend Craig and I decided to decorate for Christmas. This is the earliest I have ever decorated and feel silly having it done. But it really is a soothing atmosphere in the house and makes me excited about something again. I want to enjoy every minute of this magical season with Collin and hope that this time next year their will be another one to spoil for the holidays!
Hugs to all!
I think that I can say I am ready to move on. I have accepted this outcome and realize that their is nothing I could have done differently to get a different result. Dwelling on it any further is not fair to me or my family. This weekend I watched a marathon of Guiliana and Bill. It is a reality show about going through IVF. They also got pregnant but then lost the pregnancy a few weeks later. I cried for over two hours and realized that my thoughts and emotions were normal and okay. I really think it helped me accept our situation and stop dwelling on it.
This weekend Craig and I decided to decorate for Christmas. This is the earliest I have ever decorated and feel silly having it done. But it really is a soothing atmosphere in the house and makes me excited about something again. I want to enjoy every minute of this magical season with Collin and hope that this time next year their will be another one to spoil for the holidays!
Hugs to all!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
It wasn't meant to be
I am sad to tell everyone that does not already know - it was confirmed Friday that I am having a miscarriage. The number dropped drastically so now we have to wait it out. If my numbers are not back to a 0 by the end of the week, the Dr will need to perform a D&C. Please pray that my body will handle this naturally - I do not want to have to do yet another procedure.
I have always said that I would rather never be pregnant than to deal with the loss of a pregnancy and here I am figuring out how to deal with it. I am not going to lie - these last few days have been awful. I have done pretty much nothing except lay around and wonder why. I just want an answer so that I know what went wrong. I know I will never get that answer though.
We will be meeting with our fertility Dr sometime after Thanksgiving to talk about where we go from here. He is going to talk with the embryologists to see if they have any input and we will make our plan of action for the next cycle which will start in January. I am going to ask him about some genetic testing. I know that the general rule is three losses before a Dr will start testing but I would like to see if we can go ahead and do it now. With Collin's pregnancy - it was decided that we lost a twin but never confirmed - though I know in my heart that is the case. So we are already at 2 losses. Plus I really think this next cycle will have to be our last. Insurance will not cover much more than two and honestly it is a lot to go through so I am not sure I can handle much more than that.
I will keep the blog update with where we are at throughout the coming weeks. These next few weeks I am sure will be hard but I know that we will be okay. Craig and I are sad but know how fortunate we are to have a wonderful little boy. If we are blessed with another kid that is just frosting on the cake.
Thank you to everyone that has cheered us on during these last few months. We appreciate all of the support and prayers from everyone. We are excited to try again in a few short months.
Much Love
Katie
I have always said that I would rather never be pregnant than to deal with the loss of a pregnancy and here I am figuring out how to deal with it. I am not going to lie - these last few days have been awful. I have done pretty much nothing except lay around and wonder why. I just want an answer so that I know what went wrong. I know I will never get that answer though.
We will be meeting with our fertility Dr sometime after Thanksgiving to talk about where we go from here. He is going to talk with the embryologists to see if they have any input and we will make our plan of action for the next cycle which will start in January. I am going to ask him about some genetic testing. I know that the general rule is three losses before a Dr will start testing but I would like to see if we can go ahead and do it now. With Collin's pregnancy - it was decided that we lost a twin but never confirmed - though I know in my heart that is the case. So we are already at 2 losses. Plus I really think this next cycle will have to be our last. Insurance will not cover much more than two and honestly it is a lot to go through so I am not sure I can handle much more than that.
I will keep the blog update with where we are at throughout the coming weeks. These next few weeks I am sure will be hard but I know that we will be okay. Craig and I are sad but know how fortunate we are to have a wonderful little boy. If we are blessed with another kid that is just frosting on the cake.
Thank you to everyone that has cheered us on during these last few months. We appreciate all of the support and prayers from everyone. We are excited to try again in a few short months.
Much Love
Katie
Thursday, November 4, 2010
And the wait continues
Just a quick update on the results from yesterday. First the good news - my progesterone went back up to 25 which is excellent and the spotting as of last night has basically stopped. The concerning news though is that my HCG did not double - it went from 186 to 284. The nurse told me this is cause for concern and a very good indicater that the pregnancy is in danger. So now I go in tomorrow to check all levels again. I am praying for a miracle and bracing for the worse.
Will update sometime tomorrow.
Will update sometime tomorrow.
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